Why? There is a reason for everything...

This post will be different than most posts.  This post is definitely to clear my head...and my help settle my heart.  This post is asking only one thing...

...why?

The question all kids ask a million times.  The question that is the basis of philosophy.  The question that is asked at times of sorrow.

I asked this and still ask this again and again in regards to my sister's death.  Why did she have to die?  Why didn’t they know that Yaz was the problem?

I ask this now as I hear of my cousin's diagnosis of cancer.  Why?  Why didn't they catch it earlier?  He goes in for tests every year faithfully.  He keeps himself healthy.  Why?

Why are we who we are?  Why was I born gay?  Why am I so different than others?  Why wasn’t I born a male?

This question drives us crazy when a child asks it.  I can only imagine that God rolls His eyes when we ask it.  Well, not really - I’m sure He looks at us like we look at our children...with loving eyes and heart.  But unlike us trying to lend an answer to child’s “why”, we may never know why something has happened.

Perhaps we can just circumspect that everything happens for a reason.  But will that be enough?  Can we accept that and continue with our lives?  Perhaps.  However, I would venture to say that even if we are able to do so, we will never stop asking “why”.

And that’s okay!  We should ask why and more so see if there are answers in everyday things.  Even if we think we find the answer and we’re not quite on the mark, it gives us a peace that possibly a part of life’s puzzle has been joined to a bigger picture.

Wondering, questioning, or seeking is healthy.  Worrying about the “why” is not.  We cannot change the past.  We wish we could, but we can’t.  So giving ourselves an ulcer is not worth it.  Using our quest or inquisition to the “why” should always be done with prayer and meditation.  God told us to be still and know.  Not “know” the answers but the peace that comes with with understanding there’s more to life and us than just “us”.

The one answer that should never be used is “it is what it is.”  That’s a true non-answer.  Of course, it is true but where does it lead?  It doesn’t lend any iota of comfort.

Platitudes - let’s not use them either:
     “We cannot do anything about it so....”  (Really?  Maybe we can.)
     “God has a reason.”  (Yup.  Covered that.)
     “Time heals all wounds”  (Not necessarily.  You just learn to handle things better...maybe.)
Platitudes are great for self talk.  Less so when stated from one person to another.

Why?

Good question.  I don’t know.  I do know that trying to find the “why” in a dissertation will never happen.  Dissertations will only create more questions - not necessarily answers.  So my trying to find the “why” that Lisa died through research was never going to be answered.  If research doesn’t answer the “why”, how do you expect anyone to know the answer?

...and a PhD means that asking "why" is healthy and so is knowing you won't always get the answer.